The Astonishing Color of After by Emily X.R. Pan
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Web ID: 16131272Stunning and Beautiful Debut Novel
"My mother is a bird. This isn't like some William Faulkner stream-of consciousness metaphorical c***. My mother. Is literally. A bird." The start of this book is what caught me. It wasn't long into it that I realized that despite Leigh, the main character, denying any connection to William Faulkner that she was indeed wrong. Emily X.R. Pan took Faulkner's technique to the next level. I loved the structure of this story that goes from the past to the present and back again and I never even as much as stumbled along the way. (And that says a lot because I first read this via audiobook.) This was an awesome debut novel! Leigh Sanders is a half Taiwanese and half white teenager whose mother suffered from depression for an extended period of time before she committed suicide. She feels guilty as she grieves because the same day that her mother died she was kissing her best friend Axel. Her grief sends her on a journey to meet her maternal grandparents, chase after the bird who is her mother, and learn about secrets in her family's past. This book is about navigating mental health and grief. Grieving a loved one, grieving a broken family, grieving what could have been and what should have been. It is so befitting that Pan chooses color as one of the main devices for helping her main characters, who are teenagers, express their feelings to each other. And it is amazing and moving the way Pan creates the juxtaposition of vibrant colors versus what one might feel is the absence of color when death, in this case suicide occurs. The magical realism is superbly interwoven into the narrative and reminded me of one of Toni Morrison's works, Song of Solomon. The bird, the ghosts and the time traveling are all so believable that you almost forget that it they are magical elements and not real ones. Ok, I have some additional gushing. I loved this book and I can't wait for it to be considered a classic. If I was in the classroom I would either teach it or have book clubs as well as put it in my classroom library. I received a free hard copy of this book at the ALAN Workshop.
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This hurt to read
TW: Suicide and depression I'm 16 and I just finished this book a few hours ago and this book has really made me see a new perspective on life. This was really hard to read as I used to have dpression, but the descriptions of how the mom felt while she was depressed is so realistic. It's like the author knew how I used to feel and put it into her story. It's so beautiful and necessary. Also, it's amazing it's from the perspective of a Taiwanese/white teen, instead of just white. There's some mandarin in the book and i just adore this. I almost read the whole novel in one night.
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